


Killer Queens

by casstayinmyass



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018)
Genre: Bathroom Sex, Blow Jobs, Couch Cuddles, Doggy Style, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Freddie Is A Hot Mess, Friends With Benefits, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Helping each other out, Kissing, Mirror Sex, Neck Kissing, Oral Sex, Party, Partying, Reader Is Lesbian, Smut, Surprise Kissing, Vaginal Fingering, You're Both Gay, as usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 08:16:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16991334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: You and Freddie, two flaming gays, get drunk, (because let’s be honest, you’ve known each other far too long to be anything but enablers) and things get experimental. Friends help out friends, right?





	Killer Queens

**Author's Note:**

> This is BOHRHAP Freddie, not actual Freddie Mercury. I love the real Freddie so much, but would not feel comfortable writing for him. Also, this fic in no way downplays the gay! Reader is lesbian and Freddie is gay. I write this with the highest respect for Freddie’s sexuality. MOVIE-RAMI VERSION ONLY.

The music sweeps the room as you barely register the swoosh of your friend’s regal (cape? Shawl? Robe?) fluttering by your face. Your sixth champagne glass sloshes in your hand, and you start to truly pity whoever has to clean this place up as you stare down at the carpet. 

The song ends, and Freddie launches down from standing on the couch, to sit beside you. “How do I look?” he asks you, patting his cheekbones. His crown is tipped over, and his eyes are half lidded as he purses his lips.

“Like a hot mess,” you clink your glass with his, and you both drink.

“Marvellous.”

“Isn’t it? Brilliant party.”

“Yes, it is. I’m rather enjoying myself tonight,” Freddie hums, big happy smile on his face. He takes another drink, and wipes his lips. “Find any damsels hanging about, waiting for you to let them know they’re in distress?”

“None of interest,” you sigh dramatically, draping yourself over him. He takes to threading his fingers through your hair, probably grateful it’s not woven with vomit like last time.

“Isn’t that interesting, since I have singled out at least ten men I would gladly sleep with tonight in this crowd.”

“If you’re so good at finding, find me a girl,” you pout, “I’m in the mood.” He licks his lips, eyes doing a quick once over down your body.

“It’s just so difficult you see, because everyone at my parties is so BLOODY attractive!” A man in a top hat walking by gasps, and Freddie winks. “Yes, that means you, sweetheart. Mm, but for reasons unknown, I have come up unlucky tonight. So far." 

"I’ve set my sights on someone. What about the gorgeous redhead in the corner? I could have a chance getting her on all fours.”

“An awful bore, she’s been standing there for hours, mixing the same drink. There’s no way she would want it from behind, you can tell– I wonder why I invited her.”

“Maybe she wants to be alone,” you comment, and Freddie suddenly pauses in lifting his drink up.

“Nobody wants to be alone.” You look back at him, but he quickly rolls back his head, sighing. “She’s  _pretty_ , but you might have a better time with the ritzy blonde carrying around my favourite flower vase. EXCUSE ME, DARLING? Yes! Although that vase makes a wonderfully convenient pot for throwing up in, that is, if you can believe it, not its original purpose!”

You giggle, and take Freddie’s hand. “I’ve missed you.”

“And I you, darling. You must bring me up to speed on everything once we can both hear each other,” he smiles, and you nod. He snuggles in beside you, and starts rubbing a nice spot between your shoulder blades. After a moment, you start to realize he’s getting handsy, rubbing down to your lower back and biting his lip again. You quirk an eyebrow, and chance a look down to his chest. He is in magnificent shape… his skin is rather nice too… had he always been this sexy?

You turn around, and he admires you. “Perhaps I need to rethink my look. Can I try on your lipstick?”

You groan. “It’s upstairs.”

“You’ve got plenty to spare, don’t be greedy now,” he flashes you a cheeky grin, leaning in, and plants his lips against your coloured ones, transferring the red to his. You think nothing of it, but after a moment of neither one of you pulling away, Freddie opens his eyes, frowning slightly.

“What?” you slur against his lips, wondering why it looks as if he’s had an out of body experience. He puts a few inches between you.

“(y/n), I’m going to ask you a question. Now don’t be offended, don’t… don’t be cross with me.”

“Do I have bad breath?” you mutter, blinking up at him, “Am I a rubbish snogger? That little Betsy woman told me that two years ago, don’t worry.”

“No… no! No, you– no, I just…” He swallows, rubbing his arms. “What if… the two of us were to… as a manner of speaking…" 

"What?” you squint at him, “Take on the pap with our fists alone? Ambush Paul with an angry mob of cats?”

“I like the way you think, but do shut up for a moment dear. What if we… and I’m just throwing it out there,” he looks over at you, licking his red lips conspiratorially, “Had sex?”

“…Shagged?” you tilt your head.

“Yes.”

“Us?”

“Yes. Helped each other out, you understand? We’re both terribly ready for a happy ending tonight, and the chances are getting slimmer and slimmer for the both of us to find remotely sentient partners.”

Your next blink feels like slow motion, but you’re coherent enough to question your friend’s coherency. “Freddie…”

He looks down, a bit crestfallen. “I understand. I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was–”

“What was the first thing you said to me?”

He frowns. “I’m rather horny, why should I care?”

“You just answered your own question.”

He starts to nip at your earlobe, pawing at your shoulder as he kisses down your neck. “I said you…  _mmm_ … looked atrocious in white bell bottoms.”

You sigh, tilting your head so he has better access for sucking. “If you’re sober enough to remember that, you’re sober enough to know what you want, I suppose.” He gives you a deadpan look, finishing off his champagne in a swift gulp. 

“Darling, I could be fresh out of the lou off my sixth line and I still wouldn’t forget those hideous things.” He leans in, staring at you intensely. His eyes fall to your lips, then gaze into yours again, flickering with lust, a desperation to taste. “Please? I’m  _curious_.”

And after hearing the want in his voice, you have to say you are, as well.

Obliging him, you surge forward, and kiss him back. You start to make out with your friend, climbing into his lap, and he moans, sliding his hands up your back. He seems to be in awe of you, the way you kiss, how you feel sitting on him… he suddenly bumps you up a little, and gets up, turning you both around so that he’s on your lap. No one pays you any attention, as most people at this point around the party are doing the same. 

_The poor, poor carpet cleaner._

“This feels…” Freddie breathes excitedly, and looks down your body, touching his finger down your neck gracefully, “Good. New.”

“Mhmm,” you moan, eager to get back to kissing Freddie’s swollen, perfect lips, eager to make him feel good again. He groans in your ear as you tug him closer, grinding the beginning of an erection down against your thigh as he starts to ride you. You both lean in for another kiss, teeth clashing, your hair mixing between your faces, and the two of you fall back on the couch, him overtop of you. You look up sultrily, and feel a hand between his legs, squeezing his growing bulge.

He gasps, eyes wide, and his mouth falls open as he pats your arms. “Bathroom. Now.”

You lead him there, and he locks the door. Not five seconds later, there’s banging on it.

 _“Oi! Gotta take a piss, y’wankers!”_ Laughably, it’s Roger, but Freddie doesn’t seem to realize this. 

“There’s someone in here!” Freddie calls, “There’s another one upstairs, and down the hall!" 

Drunken mumbling disappears, and you two get back to it. You start to strip, and Freddie looks down at his crotch, waiting. He tries to rub himself, before taking your hands. 

"Darling, you’re magnificent. I may need a little more help, however, before we start.”

You look down, and nod, unzipping him and taking his half hard cock into your hand. It’s not what you’re used to, and it’s definitely not what usually turns you on, but this is strangely different– it’s almost not as if you’re shagging some man… this is  _Freddie_. You open the drawer of the cabinet, and find lube and a condom, using some of the lube to start jerking him off as you hold him close to you. You bite his neck, making him gasp and shudder, and his hands clutch onto you as you leave love bites down his body. Once you get on your knees, you sigh, batting your eyelashes up at him. 

“Well, you’re definitely not the princess I was hoping to fuck tonight, I’ll be honest.”

“No,” he smirks, “I’m the Queen.”

You roll your eyes fondly, and bring your mouth over him, listening to the slutty moans that escape him. About three or so minutes later, he’s fully hard, and you get up, bending over. Freddie slots himself behind you, rolls the condom on, and takes a deep breath.

“We are  _doing_ this.”

“Yep,” you giggle, and he clasps your hand as he pushes in, stretching you and making you grin. “Ahh… not bad.”

“Not bad,” he agrees, and reaches forward tentatively. “Do… would you enjoy it if I… touched them?”

You bite your lip. “You don’t have to if it’ll ruin it for you.” Behind you, your friend looks determined, and reaches forward, hands slotting over your breasts.

“You got on your knees for me, the least I can do is take care of my girl.” You feel yourself blush.

“Freddie… I had no idea you were such a generous lover!”

“What could possibly have given you the idea that I wasn’t?” Freddie laughs in delight as he pushes back in again, and you snort.

“Your unparalleled humility, maybe.”

“Ohh…” he groans, “Oh, that’s… lovely…”

“It is,” you moan, and grip the counter. “Hold me by my hair.”

“Hm?”

“My hair, hold me by it.”

He laughs loudly. “You kinky girl! I love it!” Grabbing onto your hair, he tugs your head back, and your back arches as his pace increases. He brings a hand down to lightly smack the side of your ass, and rolls it around in his hand.

“You have a pussy of dreams, my dear,” Freddie informs you, and you look back at him.

“That means something, coming from you.”

He thrusts again, bites his lip, and you look back, admiring how focused and into it he looks with his eyes screwed shut– he’s really trying to make this good, and looks to be having a good time as well.

“Here it comes, darling,” he whispers in your ear, holding your hair still in his fist. You shudder at his hot breath in your ear.

“W-what?” you breathe.

“Your big finish,” his lips twitch up, and you’re caught between laughing at Freddie’s theatrics and coming. Your body decides for you, and you scream his name, pushing back into him as he holds onto you and tosses back his head. Once you’re finished, you turn as Freddie pulls out, and you set a determined gaze on him. 

“Come here,” you murmur, and take him by the arm, spinning him around so that he’s facing the mirror. You come in behind him, coiling a hand in front of him and reaching down to take his cock in your hand. He sighs softly, head falling back to slot into your shoulder, and he preens as you stroke him, starting slow and picking up. 

“That’s… (y/n), darling…” he gasps, barely able to speak.

“Shh,” you whisper in his ear, “That’s my good boy.”

He mumbles something incoherent, and he watches the two of you in the mirror, enamoured and intrigued. He watches where your hand wraps around him, jerking him off, and you grab his ass, squeezing as his hips begin to lift up into your hand, rotating forward.

“Close, love?” you coo, and Freddie’s back arches, hands scrambling for purchase and grabbing onto your arm as he gets closer and closer. You’re loving how his confident swagger wanes when you have him at your mercy like this– it’s rare to see Freddie so vulnerable. You watch him, the pleasure in his face, and gently graze your teeth along his jaw, pressing a soft kiss just below his ear, down his neck and leaving a purple hickey as you swipe up over his cock. He gives three short gasps, and lifts up onto his toes as he comes into your hand. 

After a moment of breathing, you turn him around, and wrap a leg around Freddie’s back, reaching up. You two share a kiss, his mustache tickling you, then he sets you down. After fussing and cleaning both of you up, you check his eye makeup, he checks your lipstick, and he holds an arm out. 

“Now then…” He takes a moment more to catch his breath, grinning, “Shall we… make our second entrance then?”

Back in the party, you two take up position where you were on his couch prior.

“Well. I can’t say that was the best sex I’ve ever had.” He lazily rolls his head over to you, and tucks his finger under your chin, stroking. “But it was pretty. Damn. Close." 


End file.
